Flow and Focus

Marshaling and Lavishing Your Attention

Sep 23, 2025

a neon sign that reads flow next to some plants — Photo by Maksym Tymchyk 🇺🇦 on Unsplash

“There are many things I could do,
A handful of things I must do,
And a couple things only I can do.”
– Emily P. Freeman, “The Soul Minimalist” on Substack

I first read about wu wei 20 years ago. Wu wei is the Taoist philosophy of “effortless work.” We also call it being “in the flow.” Flow is a mental state in which you:

are creative and productive;
feel harmony and balance;
achieve beautiful results without forcing it.

When I think of the concept of flow, I conjure images of YoYo Ma playing a heavenly Bach cello sonata with a smile on his face; Michael Jordan floating to the basket; Dianne Reeves singing jazz like it’s effortless.

I wanted that flow in my life, in my work. I longed to shed the distractions—inner and outer—so I could go deep. Tired of mediocrity, I wanted to be an exceptional professional. And in my personal life, I sought even more joy and significance. I briefly considered getting a tattoo of the Chinese figures for “wu wei,” until it dawned on me that permanent ink is exactly the opposite of being caught up in the present moment!

Flow started to happen for me, first in small ways. There were days when the work filled me with joyful energy. I found it in a donor visit crackling with real clarity, empathy and excitement. Or a staff meeting where new ideas were born. Everyday experiences, that somehow were exciting and fresh. Rather than getting through each day, I was having a daily adventure.

Then flow manifested in big ways. Putting hesitancy aside and trusting myself, I dared new things: exploring NYC by myself; risking a new romantic relationship; climbing Kilimanjaro with my son. I got a taste of flow—and it was awesome!

That feeling is exceptional. But how do I reach that stage of natural flow? For me, it only happens when I have first become very focused. And becoming focused is just plain hard work.

Being focused takes discipline and devotion:

Discipline is saying “no” to lesser priorities—marshaling your attention.
Devotion is saying “yes” to what you love—lavishing your attention.
The payoff? Focus leads to flow!

Let’s think about how that works each day with your calendar. Not so long ago, people had to ask your permission to take time in your calendar. Today, people can put meetings on your electronic calendar in an instant, claiming your time months in advance. You no longer grant it, except passively by leaving timeslots open to be claimed.

This means you have to plan ahead, block out time, or restrict who can access your calendar. By all means, do that! Block out your best, most creative and productive hours; set aside half-days for deep work. Know which hours are your best, and keep those slots off-limits. Openly let colleagues know that you’re doing so—re-open the dialogue that electronic calendars close down.

And then, during those preserved timeslots, be extremely devoted to what you intend. Time you’ve set aside is only the container. Focus must be earned in real time, inside your mind. Mental distractions and worries need to be postponed. Old patterns and beliefs take more time and effort to unlearn. It doesn’t come naturally; you experiment, you try. Trust that you are growing more skilled at it. Rituals and routines create grooves for you. Focus is muscle. And strong focus, like strong muscles, must be earned and maintained.

Above all, I’ve found that experiences of flow are telling me something about myself. That object of devotion and discipline could be the life to which I’m called.

In his book “do less, be more,” John Busacker challenges the reader to ask, “What should I do with my life?”

“To work with a sense of calling is to answer the question, “What should I do with my life?” with a resounding, “Exactly what I’m doing right now!” And it is doing just that—and no more. Called people are seldom overcommitted.”
John Busacker, “do less, be more,” p. 75

Aligning your life and your calendar with your priorities–does it feel like a constant battle to you? Great! That relentless inner struggle is truly a very good sign. Feeling weary means you’re working at it. To make a change in yourself means to go against the current. You can’t expect resistance to be a downhill coast.

The payoff: Focus leads you to flow! Effort drops away and the work feels effortless. You move into balance, like water moving easily and confidently in the right direction, and at just the right speed. And your attention to the TOP 20% will yield 80% of the outcomes you desire.

If you’re a fundraiser, you might have flow experiences like these:

You are at your desk, working away on scheduling a donor trip: making appointments, booking flights and hotels, accounting for drive time. But things just don’t fit together. Someone can’t see you on the right day. Flight times are ridiculous. You’re going to lose it! So you take a break, come back, and suddenly the solution becomes plain as day. You go from feeling thwarted to being guided.

You are on the road, ready for the planned appointment with a donor couple. At the last minute, they cancel (or just don’t show up!). Oh, no!! You start adding up all the hours you spent, the miles you flew, the hassle of rescheduling. But instead of banging your head on the closed door, you turn 180 degrees, look around and remind yourself that the rest of the world holds infinite possibilities. A few minutes later you’re perking with ideas, off you go to make something happen. The day shifts from a loss to win.

You are in a meeting with a donor, and things feel weird. You have the sense that there’s some invisible elephant in the room. Your plan for the hour is going out the window. Then you remember to be curious—it’s not about you or your plans. A few wise questions later, the lights come on, the donor feels seen, purpose and generosity align. Awesome!

Mind your focus. Focus your mind. Find the flow.

To Be a Fundraiser

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