Good Courage
--may it find you.
“Courage isn’t the absence of fear but triumph over it.” — Nelson Mandela
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face… You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
“Oh, I could NEVER do that!”
You’re in a social setting, getting acquainted with someone. You ask about their work; they inquire about yours. You tell them “Development.” They give you a puzzled look. “Fundraising,” you clarify. To which they exclaim, “I could never ask people for money!”
I used to say, “Oh, it’s not so hard. I just talk with people about their highest values.”
Now I think to myself, “You’re right, you couldn’t do this.” And it’s okay.
They are having a fear response, of course. Everyone has that. Some people move forward in spite of it.
So let’s talk about our fears. I’ll go first…
I was a very nervous, fearful little boy. I picked that up from my mother — anxiety colored all her days–especially when I was new. My uncle said that Mom was fearful because nothing bad had ever happened to her, therefore she didn’t have confidence that she could handle hard things. Perhaps. Anyway, fearful Mommy, fearful child.
I got fed up with it in my teen years and decided to face every fear and live a different way. So I did the things that scared me. Pushed my limits. Invented challenges for myself: bicycle trips, distance running, summers in Montana, leadership roles. I wanted to find out what I could handle.
Along the way, I was delighted to learn that bison walk straight into winter storms, bulls in front, babies in back. They keep their nerve and face the storm head-on. Adopting this attitude served me well, leading me from paralysis into adventure. Maybe I even found something that resembled courage.
Anyone can see the paradox that, even as I was diving headfirst into them, the things I was afraid of were still driving my actions. I’m okay with that. I’ve learned that courage isn’t fearlessness. That means I can decide whether I want to forge ahead into every storm, or sometimes sit one out. I’ve learned that it’s okay to have fears — that anxieties don’t always have to be expelled. (These days I keep a couple around as pets. Feed ‘em. I even let ‘em out to run around sometimes.)
Seriously, though — I’m no longer afraid of the fears. I’ve learned how that feeling of anxiousness might actually be working like a spotlight, highlighting exactly what I need to experience and learn next. Fear can paralyze you — or you can become curious about it!
First, let’s consider fundraising fear on a small scale: a solicitation visit.
Imagine that you’re going into a solicitation meeting and you’re feeling the nerves. What’s the fear? You’re not afraid that they will say “no.” Or that they will be upset or surprised. The fear isn’t about the donor, or what they will say or decide. It’s about yourself.
Even though we’re all grown up, there are much younger versions of us who are always along for the ride in the back of the station wagon. The inner kids hold their fears:
“Will people like me?”
“Will I do the right thing?”
“Will there be a bathroom, snacks, scary dogs?”
It doesn’t work to ignore these voices or try to silence them. Take a second, look in the imaginary rearview mirror, smile, and in a calm voice say things like this:
“We’re not taking people’s money; we’re giving them an opportunity to be a bigger part of something they already care about.”
“It’s our job to ask; the decision to give is up to them. So we’re just going to invite their support. If we do that, we’ve succeeded.”
“We can ask to use their bathroom; they’ll have snacks and no bad dogs. And we’ll stop at DQ after.”
You’ve addressed your backseat fears. Now, shift your attention from yourself to the person you are meeting with. Get curious about them! Curiosity and fear can’t coexist in our minds at the same moment; one repels the other. And, the words “curious” and “courageous” have almost all the same letters! That’s got to mean something, right?
Most people don’t go deep — talking about their values, hopes, fears, desires — even with their families and best friends. We fundraisers know how; we can lead people into this unfamiliar place. This is often the real gift for people — they discover how to articulate their deepest values, and connect them to their actions and resources. It often leads to gifts that fund mission and ministry.
Use that courage and curiosity to lead the conversation to a deeper place; beyond past history or current connections into a conversation about their deepest hopes, commitments and values.
Serious Times, Serious Courage
That’s good courage on a small scale–the stress of donor meetings. That’s what I was planning to write about. But because of the times we’re living in, we need to talk about fundraising courage on a much larger, more serious scale.
Leaders at many nonprofit organizations are facing unprecedented attacks that threaten the existence of the organization, the well-being of the people they support, and sometimes their personal safety.
America is in the throes of a vicious cultural backlash. The federal government is cutting or taking back funds from non-governmental organizations — sometimes earned income for services already provided. Under attack are programs that promote and safeguard…
Immigrants and refugees
Public health
International hunger relief
Medicaid healthcare
Voting rights
Diversity, equity, inclusion
Public education
Higher education
The list goes on…
This attack goes beyond budget cuts or policy changes; vulnerable American citizens are being singled out, villainized and dehumanized by the elected office-holders of our country, all for political advantage and financial gain.
Leaders of nonprofits who help such people now find themselves in strange new territory. They have cut staff and services. They deal with disinformation, ridicule and threats on social media. They are even forced to decide whether or not to comply with unreasonable demands in order that they might stay in business and keep helping people.
It’s more than a pendulum swing. This is a dangerous time. A time that requires great courage at a level far beyond solicitation jitters. It requires forging partnerships; organizing networks of advocacy; standing together courageously.
Where can you find courage to face these unprecedented challenges to your work?
Some find bravery for this work somewhere within.
Others find their inspiration from the people who are supported by their organization.
There is also a third option. Perhaps the strength to fight, love and serve finds you–the power you require will be there as you need it — not as a trait, but as a gift!
“Encouragement” means courage comes into you. I pray you may receive courage from all three of these sources.
O God, you have called your servants to ventures of which we cannot see the ending, by paths as yet untrodden, through perils unknown. Give us faith to go out with good courage, not knowing where we go, but only that your hand is leading us and your love supporting us; through Jesus Christ our Lord. AMEN.
FROM WHAT DO YOU RECEIVE COURAGE for your work? Tell us.
Next week: A response from Andrew G. Steele, Chief Development and Mobilization Officer at Global Refuge. Subscribe here for free and don’t miss it!
The editor of “To Be a Fundraiser” is Kelly Wendell, Coordinator of Communications at South Dakota State University.