Belonging vs. Usefulness
"Part One: Moving Honestly Between Two Worlds"
“…a fundraiser has to align enough to be trusted, but not so much that they lose perspective.” Tamara Shoop
I spied Tamara Shoop’s writing on Substack a few weeks ago, and I instantly felt a sense of camaraderie and agreement!
Tamara posts about subjects that I care about:
Focus, and how to say “no”;
Influence through quietly showing up;
Creativity and the fundraiser’s life.
Also, she’s a real human who shares about friendship, adult children and community. And about the perils of switching purses– and daylight savings! It’s great stuff. Here is a link to Tamara’s work on Substack: “Fundraising By Design.”
I reached out to Tamara on Substack chat. I wrote something like: “Hi, I like your writing. Wanna read my posts and tell me it’s good? And then can we collaborate? What’s your time zone?”
Tamara was gracious and thoughtful. We jumped right into thinking about the role of a fundraiser in an organization’s culture. Here’s where that went…
Paul Hanson: Hi Tamara! Thanks for the great work on Substack, and thanks for agreeing to share your thoughts with me!
Tamara Shoop: Thanks for asking!
Paul: Tell a bit about yourself, Tamara, and your fundraising career.
Tamara: I’d love to, Paul. Fundraising was actually my second career. I spent many years in sales, and it turned out to be a pretty natural transition. Instead of selling a product, I now get to connect people with causes that matter to them and help align their values with a mission they want to support.
I’ve been in fundraising for about 15 years, working in major gifts, development leadership and nonprofit strategy. I previously served as Development Director and Major Gifts Officer at Boys and Girls Club, and today I lead a K-12 public schools foundation. What I love most about this work is that it’s really about people — relationships, trust and understanding what matters to someone so their giving feels personal and meaningful. And as you can probably tell from my career choices, I’ve always loved being part of a mission that supports kids.
Paul: You are in the middle of a great career, one that clearly gives you joy!
Fundraising is my second career, too. My fundraising jobs have included one long stay (12 years) at a place where the culture was an easy fit, followed by two short tenures (18 months each) in places where I did not fit in well.
So as I write about being a fundraiser, I’m reflecting on “company culture,” particularly what it means to align with the culture of your workplace.
I sometimes wonder if there is more than one culture in a place. I think it’s possible that the mission-delivery side of the organization — the public service side — might be one culture; and the inside of the organization — the departments that do the deciding, funding, employing — could have a different work culture.
What do you think, Tamara?
Tamara: Yes, I think there is often more than one culture inside an organization.
There’s the mission-facing culture — what the organization says it values and wants the world to see. And then there’s the internal culture — how decisions get made, who has influence, how conflict is handled, and what actually gets rewarded.
Those two are not always the same. That is not necessarily hypocrisy. It is usually just the reality of human institutions.
For fundraisers, that matters because we live between those worlds. We represent the mission externally, but we also have to understand the internal realities well enough to know what is true, what is aspirational, and where the friction is. We are often the ones who can feel, very quickly, when the story an organization tells about itself lands differently outside its walls.
That’s why I think a fundraiser has to align enough to be trusted, but not so much that they lose perspective. If we fully absorb the internal culture, we stop being useful. We stop translating and start echoing.
Our value is not just in fitting in. It is in helping the organization see itself clearly while helping donors connect to what is real and meaningful.
Paul: The role of the fundraiser is a big topic! Fundraisers are in the middle of things — like cartilage in a joint, perhaps. We move between the donors’ world and the agency’s world.
You and I talked about belonging, Tamara. Is belonging like fitting in with the workplace norms? And at the same time, also trying to fit into the world of your donors?
Tamara: I love the cartilage analogy — slightly unglamorous, but absolutely essential.
I don’t think belonging is the same as fitting in. Fitting in is about adapting so you’re accepted. Belonging, in fundraising, is about being trusted enough to move honestly between both worlds.
Because that is our role. We are in the middle — not just passing information back and forth, but interpreting, translating and sometimes gently challenging.
If a fundraiser is only trying to fit in internally, they start to sound like the organization. If they are only trying to fit into the donor world, they can lose touch with what is real inside the institution.
Our usefulness comes from holding that tension.
We need to be close enough to understand the organization, but not so absorbed that we lose perspective. And with donors, trust does not come from mirroring them. It comes from understanding what matters to them and connecting that to what is real and meaningful inside the organization.
So no — belonging is not just fitting in. It is being credible in both worlds, while staying distinct enough to still be useful.
The conversation between Tamara and I will continue in the next post!
Do you have thoughts or experiences about moving in the culture as a fundraiser?
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